Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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