I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
