I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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