Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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