Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
