Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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