hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We named our party play list daddy issues
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
