he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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