So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His nipple licking is glorious
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