FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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