carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
