I bet he comes in French.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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