so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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