how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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