But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
