Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
