found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
