I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
