is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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