Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
