apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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