So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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