I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
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So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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