I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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