I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
