I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
