so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
