Apparently you make a good broom.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
