spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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