I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
