I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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