look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
