so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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