i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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