you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
