Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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