Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
not ubering you a puppy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
