Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
