i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize