So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
