Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
