I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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