I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
