he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
