Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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