Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
