Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
