hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
