the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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