hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
