okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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