Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
