Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
