Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
