i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
