Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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