I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
