how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize