p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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