so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
