I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
