ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
