Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
