When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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