He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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