At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
