let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
